Wednesday, September 23, 2009

stollen from someone who said it better....

Ok, so I have not been on here alot lately because... well, I have been thinking... and working, and sorting and all kinds of other stay at home with 4 kids kind of stuff....  Some of it has been worth my time (like making home made chicken soup from scratch and home made apple sauce from apples that my girls and I picked and canning it) and some of it has been a wast of time (sitting on this stinkin computer too many hours a day) but that is why I have not blogged.

Ok, now that we have gotten that out of the way....

I just read a great post that was just what I needed tonight.

My sweet hunny and I have been learning here and there as the years go by, and I am happy to say that we have changed a bit in our convictions and our actions... We are in that process right now. (read the last blog if you need to know details) But in figuring things out, we may (completely unintentionally) offend some of our wonderful friends. You know, the ones who either do not have the same convictions, or have already dealt with them. We may come across as condemning or judgmental or "holier than thou". Which is NOT what we hope to convey. Especially since we do not even know where we stand yet, just that we are noticing a need for change of the way that we do things. Anyway, I hope that we are not coming across this way, but I am sensitive to the possibility...

SO... without further adieu.... the words of someone who said it better than I could...
 
"It’s easy to love people who are exactly like us. They make us feel happy, settled, at peace with the world and our choices. There’s such affirmation in homogeneity: you never look crazy, you never have to explain yourself, you’re probably right because, after all, look at all the people who agree with you. Rosy.
Differences make people uncomfortable. There’s that nagging implication that someone might be wrong, or worse even than that, there’s the worry that someone might be snidely thinking that we are wrong and maybe even condemning us.

I have a lot of experience with this because I’m sort of quasi-Amish. I wear loooong skirts. I cover my head. I have babies every 22 months (at least so far). I have homebirths. I breastfeed. I homeschool. I’m part of a tiny little house church. When people talk about a television show, if it was aired after the turn of the new millennium, I’m usually clueless. It’s been years since I was at a movie theater. I don’t listen to the radio. I’ve never followed secular music much. You know, isolated and strange.

But there are a lot of people in my life who aren’t doing all of these things, or any of these things.
And so I ask myself, how do people with an unusual set of convictions and life practices interact with the rest of the world, the “normal,” less freakish people out there, without adding that element of supposed condemnation that makes everyone feel so uncomfortable?

Since my convictions are so unusual, I can’t seem to talk about them without making a lot of people around me feel condemned just by nature of the fact that they have different convictions. And I can’t honestly say my convictions are just “personal” convictions, as in “I feel called not to eat oatmeal, but I don’t mind if y’all eat boatloads of the stuff–it’s just a personal conviction,” because I never felt like God revealed anything to me as a special call just on my life.  If I believe something it’s because I actually believe it. I don’t dress modestly because I think it’s something I need to do, but never mind, dear, God doesn’t care how you dress. I don’t avoid the majority of broadcast media because I think it’s a pointless, raunchy, morally desensitizing waste of time for me, but quite possibly good and wholesome for everyone else. No, I do these things (and most things) because I believe them to be true in the abstract, and then I apply them to myself. Stellar. I’m well set up to be a first class trumpeter of judgment and condemnation to nearly anyone on the planet. Because, you know, with my long list of all the ways I’m isolated and strange, it’s pretty easy for just about everybody to find a sticking point, some area of disagreement, some thing that I really believe in that they just don’t.

What to do? What to do?

Some people get around the issue by surrounding themselves with people that all think the same thing, join an oppressive group which dictates all convictions so they can be conservative without controversy, park their brains at the door, and do their condemning together as a cozy group. But then, who’s going to help them see where they’re wrong? It would be impossible for any of us to get it completely right. We need other people who see the world differently to challenge us and help us think through all those beliefs of ours to make sure we don’t decide oatmeal is the anti-Christ or something.

A better plan is to really believe what we believe, share it freely, and then lovingly give each other space to follow God as best we know how. We are not the ones other people have to please. They only need to please God, and He will reveal the things He wants each of us to know in His own timing.

Let’s genuinely love people even if they dress modestly (or don’t), or use birth control (or don’t), or send their kids to public school (or don’t), or even if they eat oatmeal (or don’t). People are still bound to get uncomfortable from time to time, but persevering in respecting them, valuing them, learning from them, and loving them seems to me to be a much better solution than either pretending we don’t believe anything, or limiting ourselves to people who already agree with us."

Ok, that is it from me for tonight... :-)
-Christina

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Church?

Ok, so I have been wrestling with a concept lately and would love to get some feedback. What is the purpose of Sunday school? A few months ago, my four year old was having problems going into his Sunday school class. He just did not want to be there. We decided that if he could behave himself, he could go to church with us. For about a month he did just that. He behaved himself and went to church with us.

I carry a deck of cards and a notepad in my purse all the time so that appointments and sit tight situations are a little easier to manage. I pulled them out after the singing part of service, and my four year old little boy sat there and sorted cards to his hearts content. He sorted them by color, he sorted them by shape, he sorted them by number, and when I was less interested in the sermon than I ought to have been, we added up the numbers together. He did very well.

As the weeks went by, my hunny and I got to discussing why we send the kids to Sunday school? What is the point? We got into the habit of asking them, on the way home from church, "what did you learn today?". They almost always answer with this sort of answer : "Well, the story today was about baby Moses" Or "for craft we made a basket out of paper and lowered it down the wall with Paul in it". So we started asking... "well, what did you LEARN? You know, what did you find out today, that you did not already know?"  Their response is always... "Oh, well, nothing then..." So we are now back to my question... What is the point? Is it child care so that we grown ups can sit and listen to the sermon? Is it so that the kids learn that church is a place to play and have fun? Is it so that kids learn to love God?

I truly love my church! I love the pastor, I love the members, I love the way it deals with issues... I really do love my church. But I wonder if the idea of Sunday school is just another form of public school.

As my hunny and I learn more about home schooling, why we do it, its values, its roots, its drawbacks, its purpose, we are finding that we really do believe that this is the way that God intended for us to raise our children. At home, with us as their main influences. Guiding their decisions, teaching them our values, instilling in them our faith, discipling them in the way that they should go. We are realizing that as they are with us, they become like us. They develop our mannerisms, our habits, our good traits and bad. This is how they grow, how they learn to be adults. By being with adults.

So why do we take the benefits of home schooling (and the methods by which we see these results) and throw them out the window when it comes to church? Why do we group our children by age? Wouldn't that teach them to be like kids their age? Why do we dumb down the bible? Doesn't that teach them that they are too dumb to understand it? Why do we only teach them bible stories and not the living truth that is illustrated by those stories? Doesn't that teach them that it is just like any other story book... meaningless to their own lives?

I posted a link on my facebook page that touches on this subject (I have since found a better link, if you are interested you you can read This interview) to see what kind of a response I would get.  I was challenged to take my thinking to the next step. To follow this thought further and see what I find. What about AWANA (we are involved in that program)? What would we do with our kids while we are in church? What else do I just take as served instead of evaluating its value and cost?

I think it would be a great deal of inconvenience for us (and the people sitting near us) if we were to take all four of our children into service with us (they outnumber us). At least at first. I am sure that we would have to answer our whining kids as to why they cannot play with their friends. (Yes, my kids whine) I KNOW that they will not learn much in "big church" (at least at first). These are several of the drawbacks that came to mind when I pursued this line of thinking. 

But what are the benefits?  We would KNOW what our kids were taught, and then be able to discuss it with them later. They would be with adults, learning to become adults. If we decided to go to the first service that our church offers and then stay for the second, the kids could still spend time with their friends during the less structured kids time. Hey, we could even volunteer to help direct that time.

I think I have figured out the dilemma.... Sunday morning church is more outreach focused than discipleship focused . It provides programs that are focused on inviting unbelievers. Focused on salvation for the lost. I suppose that is a good thing when you take into consideration that our job as parents is to "train them up". Our church has a "program" (that is not the right word but I cannot think of what I am looking for right now) called "R" groups. Mid week bible studies. Small groups. I guess in this line of thought, the Sunday morning church is for outreach and the smaller group study is for discipleship. The sharpening iron with iron. Then the family goes home and disciples the children...

I think I just talked myself in a circle... But I think I understand it better now... Alright, before I post more I need my hunny to get home so we can talk...

 I hope i have encouraged you to think about why you do what you do... and maybe you can shed more light on this topic than I am able to see right now... I would LOVE to have your input!

Until next time...
Me

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Making progress

Normally, if you asked me how school was going, I would hem and haw and say something like... "well, it is going good, it is just kindof hard to measure the progress since we do not sit down and do school".  Normally, we just kind of learn as we go... when something comes up, we learn about it, and if something does not come up then we work on manners or house keeping or cooking or any number of other things that just happen...

This year is a big leap for me. We have committed to do a curriculum. It is a WONDERFUL curriculum, but it is still books and lessons and stuff to do... every day...

As I mentioned in my last post (which was kindof sporadic, sorry I am still learning how to blog) yesterday was our official start day. Things went well with my third grader, but my 1st grader didn't even get to look at her work for the day. Today, we had to catch up. They both did SO well.... Rebekah does not read yet. She knows how... in that she recognizes the letters and knows their sounds. She can even blend them sometimes to make it sound like a word, but it is so hard for her. She just does not do it. That being said, she was writing today... sounding out the sounds as she went... That seems SO backwards to me!

Anyway, It was a good day... again... I am so blessed!
This is the mess of books that comes with our curriculum. Steven has still not found his place in the grand scheme of things. We tried to have him color, but he was adamant that he does not know how. (that is a bunch of phoey by the way...) so, he and mommy got to draw... that worked well.... we were illustrating a story and each of us "saw" and then drew something different. Here is the one that Steven and I did..

And my girls doing so well at self directing and following directions....


Ok, well, that is my update for now...

the first day of school...

So we decided that we are going to start school every year the first Tuesday after Labor day... that was yesterday. It went.... well... mostly.

My kids usually beat me out of bed.... they are just morning people, what can I say? Yesterday was no exception... they got up and went to play in the toy room (we decided to have the kids share bedrooms so that we could have one room designated for toys... keeps down on the mess in the rest of the house)  i got up, went in to let them know that I was making breakfast and that they could start cleaning up to come out...

They NEVER did!... the little turds!  So my oldest... who has started sleeping in a little bit later (cause who can blame her?), got to be busy with me until the others came out. (Did I mention, that never happened? URRRGGGG)
Anyway, we decided to take "school pictures" on our first day of school. We got the idea from a sweet blogger that I read. You can find her great stories here. Heather and I cut cardboard. We colored them. We did Desciple for the day. We read library books. We had lunch.... My other three STILL did not come out. And we were in there each time we changed activities. Kind of as a way to encourage them to hurry it up... Oh well... They all had naps and returned to the toy room.

Oh... the point of this story? Right, they did eventually come out... around 6pm.... and we took "school" pictures... I wanted to share them with you....
Figuring out who goes where....
our "classroom"
Heather
Rebekah
Steven
Jeremiah
And just for fun....

So... that was our day... at least most of it..

Oh yeah, I also made fried chicken for dinner and it was YUMMY!  You can find the recipe here, or read about my friend (who posted the recipe) here.

Ok, that is all I have time to write for now. I have to go school my kids ;-) 

Friday, September 4, 2009

Allow me to pose a question...

So last night, my sweet husband met me in town (after the kids and I had gone grocery shopping) and traded me vehicles. He took  the kids and perishables home, and I went to the hospital to visit some sweet friends who just had babies.

I went to visit the first mama... she went in to get checked out... she was having problems breathing and the baby was not doing well with the contractions... It turned out, she had pneumonia and the baby WAS having problems with the contractions... they ended up doing an emergency C-section to get baby, and mama needed a blood transfusion (anemic) and lots of antibiotics for the pneumonia... poor thing... She is doing a little better now that she can sleep, but really disheartened that she has not been able to see baby (he went to NICU and she has been drugged up). I will keep praying for her and the rest of her clan as both her and baby recover from this.

The second visit I made was for some friends that we have gotten to know pretty well over the last few years. What a blessing... They had twins! Not that it was a surprise or anything. I knew they were having twins, I don't know what I was expecting... I guess I don't really think about TWO babies... It was... refreshing... surreal... surprising... no, none of those are right, but interesting... to see them both.

As I stood there and talked with my friends and held their babies and listened to their stories... I found myself.. blessed. Even as I am writing this I am tearing up... what a sap I am .. 
Sawyer and Greyson
Proud mama and papa

ANYWAY, I have not really concreted in my brain yet that we are not going to be doing the same thing, ever, again. That was my life for so long. I went up the elevator (the wrong one mind you) and recalled my water breaking IN the same elevator, the doors opened and I walked to the counter and had to confess that I had NO idea where I was going... "Excuse me, I wonder if you can help me? I have only ever been here to HAVE babies before. I know I am not in the right place, but I dont know where to go to VISIT them..."  I walked down the halls and realized that any one of my reletives would laugh at me because they would all know the hospital better than I do...

Boy, I get distracted... back to the point of the story... I got to sit in the room with my friends, holding their babies, and watching them be new parents... remembering my experiences, and ... missed it, longed for it.

 For two and a half years now I have been trying to tell myself that I am better off now... knowing that I will not be a size bigger in a month, knowing that we will be able to fit in the car we are driving, knowing that I do not need to save all of the toys and clothes and diaper bags and car seats... knowing that within sight is a time with no more diapers, no more bottles, no more pacifiers... knowing that my emotions are my own and not some alien inside me injecting hormones where they do not belong... I have been trying to convince myself that sleeping through the night is a great consolation prize... that it is good to wear a normal bra (not the kind with easy access for hungry mouths).... that engorged breasts and cracked, bleeding nipples and stained shirts are happily a thing of the past.

After last night... I think I have convinced myself exactly the opposite... that all of those seemingly undesirable things, are SO worth the product... So worth the beautifully wrapped gift that God has prepared you for. Those sweet little coo's and the tiny little fingertips on the side of your ribcage as you nurse that little one... the wonder of new life and all of the miracles that go with it... the forming of a body, the coming together of its personality, all the physical developments, and after the birth, that God is SO good as to put EVERYTHING that that baby needs to survive, inside its mama. (Yes, I am a believer in nursing) 

I am not discontent with my life as it is... I love my husband! Even if we had not had kids, I was still blessed beyond my worth through Gods gift of my sweet man. And I am so grateful for the four precious lives that we have already been entrusted. Each one of them is so unique. I truly enjoy each of my kids.  If they were not my kids, I would want to be around them...

I LOVE the creativity of my first one. She see's good in EVERYTHING...

The passion of my second. Let me tell you... since she was a week old, if she was happy, her toes would tell you, and if that child was mad, well, there was NO denying it, when she is excited she literally JUMPS, and if she is sad, you want to cry for her....

The desire to be a gentleman that is so strong in my third. He will be so offended if you do not let him open the door for you....
And the excitement in my fourth. He enjoys life to its fullest... he wants to be all of his siblings.

No, I am not discontent AT ALL! But I find myself regretful that we chose to be done having babies.

SO that brings me to the title of this post...

What is baby fever? Is it jealousy? Is it discontentment? Is it trying to fill a void? Will it go away? Should it? Is it God reminding you that He has something in store for you?

I am eager to hear your opinions... I am still formulating mine.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

NO, I have not fallen off of the face of the plannet....

So as usual, I read more blogs than I post! Not like that is a surprise to anyone... Well, I am convicted today... I really do LOVE reading blogs... some have advice from people who have it together better than I do, some are moms, struggling to have it together as good as I do (I like to encourage them), and some are EXACTLY the same as me.... I think those are my favorites... and the most convicting.... If they can blog, why cant I? So.... Here I go...

Sooooo..... Way back in June(the 13th to be exact), we were invited by a sweet friend to come and pick in her plum orchard... we happily went and picked a TON of plums.... the kids had so much fun... here are a few pictures that I took while we were there...
HeatherThe kidsJeremiahSteven RebekahMe and my littlest man
Our haul....
I don't know how I managed to take 0 pictures of just my amazing hunny, but at least he is in this one... Oh, and the pictures that I did not post include several of a bunny that had its hutch in the orchard, and a few really beautiful spiders webs... It was a good day!